If you’re going to flourish after a hard time – whether that’s divorce, bereavement, or simply making it through a difficult patch – you’re going to have to get good at self care. But what exactly is self-care?
The beauty industry would have you believe it’s an expensive bath oil or luxury facial serum. But it’s actually a lot simpler and cheaper than that. For me, the most relatable explanation I’ve encountered, is to imagine looking after a three year old child.
Of course you’d do the basics like making sure they’ve slept, eaten and been outside enough, but you’d also add in the extras because you want to see them thrive. So, you’d talk to them kindly, make sure they have time for creativity, take them out to play with their sweet little friends and should they need eye drops or vitamin D you’d remember to administer it. This is self-care in the real sense. And we probably all need to get better at it.
To help you with this, I’ve put together 3 lesser known but very effective self-care tips, which will make a real positive difference to your wellbeing.
Real self-care tips that will work for you
- Talk to yourself with self-compassion
So, what is self-compassion? Quite simply it’s talking to yourself in exactly the same way you’d talk to your very best friend. Think of the tone you’d use, the gentle, loving words and the patience you’d display.
You would never, never repeatedly criticise her, call her insulting names or turn every compliment into an insult. So why do it to yourself? The path to self-compassion may not be easy, but it’s full of benefits. Self-compassion expert Dr Kristin Neff says, “Research indicates that self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience we have available, radically improving our mental and physical wellbeing. It motivates us to make changes and reach our goals not because we’re inadequate, but because we care and want to be happy.”
2. Reading biographies of inspirational people
Reading biographies of famous, inspirational people can shift our perspective beyond the perceived limitations of our own life, to a place where anything may happen with hard work and courage. Many people who’ve achieved personal success, or made a meaningful impact on the world, have done it via determination and tenacity. They’ve all overcome their own share of hard times, bereavements and trauma along the way.
The best biographies to read are those that you’re interested in. But if you need some help the Evening Standard has put together this list as a great starting point.
3. Embed self-care into your every day life
Self-care is not an added extra or a nice-to-have, it’s an essential. And so it needs to be intertwined and interspersed in your every day life.
For some it’s a coffee in the morning, alone, before the children wake up. For others it’s a brisk walk to work so they have tome to clear their head before the day starts. It can be taking your multi-vitamins and medication every day, so future you will feel better. Or, after a week of working hard it’s scheduling a weekend to unwind with friends.
Self-care is an individual thing, and only you know what works for you. But whatever make a difference to your mood, needs to be prioritised every day. Do not wait for disaster to strike before you decide to get good at self-care.
If you want to share with me your self-care tips, then I would love to hear them. Simply share below. And on the topic of self-care, I’m off on my summer holidays. My next blog will be in three weeks time, when I’m back.