Summers ended, September’s here, so it’s off the sun lounger for me, and back to some serious reading. And I’ve kicked off the academic year with a bit of existential therapy courtesy of It’s On Me by Dr Sara Kuburic.
Kuburic is an existential therapist, and if you’ve not heard that term before it simply means she centres her counselling on exploring the big questions which are relevant to us all: what’s this life about and how can we make it a more fulfilling experience? In short, it’s about intentionally creating a life less lost and more meaningful for you.
Because it’s straight off the starting blocks and knee deep into the big questions, I feel It’s On Me should should come with a warning. Beware your head may start spinning. And you’ll start doing some serious thinking. Indeed it says on the front cover that there are hard truths to embrace, and it is confronting – albeit in a good way.
Your life is your responsibility
For example there is no meaning to life, except the meaning that you ascribe to it. And it all relies on you to create the meaning of your life or to go out and look for it. Equally, your time on earth is finite so if you’re passing the time in a job you’ve got no passion for and a partner who mostly pisses you off, then wake up! This can lead to self-loss. You are standing on a burning platform and the responsibility for yourself and your choices is entirely yours. No one can guide you, tell you what to do or find the meaning for you. Like I say, it’s dizzying in its directness.
Throughout It’s On Me, Dr Sara Kuburic successfully take quite complex ideas and writes about them in an easy to read breezy style. So although the concept may be mind bending, the writing is not. This book gave me much to think about. Not in a fluffy reassuring way, but in a challenging and energising one.
For example, I am 43 now. And although I’ve always understood on a logical level, that death comes to us all, I now feel it finiteness in my body. I am not here forever, and I have so much to do and create.
So if you’re feeling fragile this book may not be for you (yet). Perhaps give Matt Haig a try instead. But if you’re ready to make changes, then It’s On Me may just get you galvanised and ready to write the next chapter of your life.
If you have any thoughts about this book, or existential counselling, that you want to share, then I’d love to hear them. Simply comment below.