There are so many myths about therapy that I’m often surprised any clients make it on to my couch. Half-baked rumours about what to expect can be anxiety provoking, and deter people from getting the support they need. But September is infamous among counsellors for it’s upsurge in inquiries, especially from people who think they’d benefit, but just aren’t sure… So, if you’re thinking of getting therapy for the first time, then let me debunk some myths for you. And hopefully, by the end of this blog you’ll feel a lot more confident about coming to counselling.
Myth 1: Therapists just listen – anyone can do that
Therapists do listen and they listen really well. We hear the words you say, listen for the tone and track your body language. It is listening, but it’s listening ultra. With an intensity and clarity that you’re unlikely to get in your regular, every day life.
But there’s more than just listening going on. A counsellor’s mind is usually whirring away and wondering if there’s a pattern repeating itself, looking for beliefs, introjections, spotting when your words don’t match your body language. And then, once we’ve heard you, hopefully we’ll be able to offer an insightful question. In the hope it will help you gain clarity and explore how you’re feeling more deeply.
And lastly, although we can’t diagnose we are connected to a number of organisations and health care professionals. So, if we think there’s a reason to refer you on, then we can help steer you through this process so you feel supported all the way.
So yes, listening is involved but there’s so much more than that.
Myth 2: Counsellors can’t give advice, so what’s the point?
There are many reasons for this lack of advice and direction within a counselling session. But it’s not because we don’t care what you decide. The point of counselling is to provide you with the time and space to explore your own emotions, and work out what’s best for you. Ultimately, you’re the expert on you. And no matter how impressive my qualifications are, no one is going to know you better than you know yourself.
Because of this counsellors seldom give advice. It’s up to you to figure out the best way forward. A way that’s in alignment with your own values, sense of self and general life direction. If you’re interested in exploring this topic in more detail then take a look at this blog too.
Myth 3: Counselling is only for serious issues
Counselling really is for anyone, with any issue at any stage of their life. In fact the sooner you come to counselling the better. Even if all you have is a fleeting sense that something’s not quite right Together we can work with that feeling, and take it from there. It doesn’t all have to be about crisis and catastrophe.
Because, actually, counselling works best when there isn’t yet a serious situation and a sense of urgency. It’s far more preferable to get in there early and have the time and space you need to explore your feelings -without pressure and panic.
Myth 4: if you’re strong enough you can sort your own problems
This is one of the myths about therapy, I wish didn’t exist. And even though most of us shake our head as we read it, I feel, not too far under the surface, this idea still persists. And it can be especially damaging when it comes to men seeking help. The research suggests that men are less likely to seek professional help and more likely to understate their feelings when they do get support . But it’s harmful for women too. Because a lot of women, in many different cultures and countries across the world, grew up believing they had to do it all and manage it all too. Using outside resources can be seen as weak, even indulgent.
But keeping your challenges to yourself, and adopting the ‘soldier on’ mentality can lead to burnout, anxiety and depression. Use all the resources you have access to, because there is nothing more important than your health and wellbeing and that of your loved ones.
If you have other therapy myths you want added to this list, then just comment below. I’d love to hear them.