You’ve dug deep and decided to start counselling. Wonderful. But as the day draws near, you realise you have no idea about what therapy actually entails. What happens at your first counseling session? And is there a way to feel better prepared for it all?
Well worry no more. I’m going to put your mind at rest and explain exactly what happens at a first counselling session with me. That way, when the big day does roll around, you’ll be as confident, prepared and clued-up as you can be.
Relax, a good therapist will always make you welcome
Whether you’ve chosen an NHS therapist, or paid-for-private, any good therapist will make you feel welcome. Indeed counsellor’s are trained in what’s called the core conditions and how to embody them. These are the qualities of empathy, non-judgementalness and unconditional positive regard. So, as soon as you walk through that door your therapist will be ready to put you at ease.
Welcoming though, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re going to be overly friendly or warm. Psychodynamically trained psychotherapists tend to be a bit more contained in their approach. And all therapists will hold boundaries to reinforce that this is a professional counselling session, not chat with a friend.
Unfortunately, starting therapy means paperwork
There’s just no getting away from it, there will be some paperwork to do. And this will probably take about 10 or 15 minutes of your first session.
Every therapist will need to take some basic details about you. Your name, address, your goals for counselling and the details of the GP you’re registered with.
You’ll also be asked to sign a contract which sets out the frequency, cost and location of your counselling sessions. As well as what this therapy is offering, and who to contact if you need to cancel a session. The contract may be emailed before your first session, but if not you’ll be able to review and sign it when you start.
If you’re counselling is through the NHS or a charity, there may also be short questionnaire to complete at the start of every session. This allows your counsellor to build a clear idea of how you’re feeling each week, as well as indicate particular areas to focus on.
Lastly, you’ll probably be asked to complete a demographic form. This allows your counselling organisation to ensure they’re reaching everyone in the community. And provides vital information about which groups of people they might currently be missing.
The counsellor will explain the boundaries of confidentiality
Although counselling sessions are confidential, there are limits to this confidentiality. Counsellors may need to break confidentiality if they feel you’re at risk of hurting yourself or someone else. Or if you’ve been physically or sexually assaulted, and the perpetrator is still alive.
All counsellors are obliged to attend supervision, as part of our ethical requirements to our clients. This is when we discuss your case, and the work we’re doing together with a more experienced counsellor. Your name will be changed for this, so your anonymity is protected. It simply means that your therapist will get another perspective on their work and will work with you in the best, and safest, way possible.
You’ll still have time in your first counselling session to discuss how you’re feeling
And after all the introductions and paperwork, you’ll still have about 40 minutes in your first session to just talk to your counsellor. To explore how you’re feeling, express your concerns and speak about how you’re managing your emotions. Your counsellor should listen in an empathic way – nodding, making encouragng noises and generally giving you the cues you need to keep talking.
If you do find your first counselling session with a new therapist a bit awkward, then worry not. I always tell my clients that the first session is the hardest. After this is gets easier. You get to know your therapist, the building become familiar. In short, counselling soon becomes just part of your routine.
In fact the next hardest session you’ll have is when you say goodbye. And if you need any more help, from your first session to your last, my blog is always here.
If you have any questions you want to ask about what you can expect from your first counselling session, then please do ask below.