The research around self-esteem is plentiful. Here’s what we know…self esteem is improved by regular exercise, and setting and achieving goals. Also, by using self-compassion, and forming strong, genuine connections with those around you. But what’s missing from this list is knowing exactly what works for you. The guidelines are good, but they’re never going to be specific enough to build self-esteem.
For example, exercise. This can encapsulate everything from a 26 mile marathon to a 10 minute kitchen disco. If you hate the winter months, and find walking dull, then an all weather rambling group is never going to work for you. Although it ticks the exercise box, if it doesn’t enliven and energise, then it’s never going to boost your self esteem.
Self-esteem strategies tailored to you
A personal experience of mine, is breathing exercise. I breathe just fine, when it unconscious and automatic. But time and time again, I’m told how useful they are. How very mindful they can make me. But as soon as my breathing is brought into my conscious awareness, I become stressed. I not only lose the rhythm of my breath, but also the confidence that I’m going to be able to remember howe to breath at all. Instead of the promised relaxation benefits, I become distinctly anxious and panicky.
But self-compassion works like a dream for me. I can talk myself down from almost any emotional cliff edge, with some self-soothing talk and a warm tone of voice. And that’s what I mean by knowing exactly what works for you.
Best selling author Gretchen Ruben, spells it out perfectly in this short YouTube clip about why knowing yourself is the key to success.
So if you want to improve your self esteem then the only secret is knowing exactly what works for you. By all means, use the research and studies as guidelines, but beyond this embrace your individuality. And remember that no one, no matter how expert or qualified, knows you better than you know yourself.
Please do feel free to share or comment, I would love to hear your thoughts.