I’m giving my site a refresh soon, so I’ve begun the process of reading over old blogs and deciding what stays and what goes. And I was struck by how I’ve, mistakenly, given the impression that I’m excellent at managing my own emotions. Which is just not true. A lot of these blogs centre on a ‘here’s how I felt, here’s what I did, and lo! It all worked out okay’. But this is often not the case. Occasionally, I can’t manage my moods in the way I’d like.
Sometimes, I’d even say my emotions engulf me. Nothing dramatic happens. But I cannot shake the bleak mood. And no amount of strategies, counting to ten, or reframing my thoughts change that. In fact, it often like the feelings become bigger than me. So I’m not even able to mask or put a brave face on it.
A case in point. We went on a family trip to Chessington World of Adventures recently. And, even on the best of days, this isn’t really my type of place. The crowds are overwhelming, the forced fun too frenetic and the noise is on another level. But this time I was already flagging from the day before. The coffee wasn’t caffeinated enough and I felt the bad mood settle over me like a blanket. I limped through the rest of the day, trying to stay light and upbeat – but really I just yearned for my bed and complete solitude. However, if you were to read my old blogs, then you’d assume with just a few simple strategies I’d be as giddy as the spinning teacups.
The research behind emotions
Studies tell us that Emotional intelligence is closely related to everything from academic success to forming and maintaining close relationships. We also know that it’s at least a two pronged approach of being able to recognise and manage your own emotions, and then recognising and manage other peoples. But when we’re overwhelmed by the intensity of our feelings, then our moods feel unmanageable and insurmountable.
However, there is good news. All emotions no matter how huge, will eventually fade away. They may not go completely over the course of a day (and night) but they’ll certainly drop in intensity.
It can mean though, that the day out you thought would be wonderful, is actually a washout. It’s annoying and disappointing. But it’s also just the way life is, sometimes
There are no tips in this week’s blog. No take away points or techniques to try. But there is a podcast I stumbled on about this topic. It’s by author and former child actress Jennette McCurdy and is called Hard Feelings. It’s one of the most honest and intimate explorations of emotions, I’ve ever heard. She also incredibly engaging and easy to listen to.
If you want to share your own experiences of thinking, ‘Help, I can’t manage my mood.’ I’d love to hear them. Just comment below.