It was Freud who first suggested that dad’s can have a big influence on their daughter’s romantic relationships. His Oedipus complex theory stated that girls are attracted to their father, and view their mother as a rival for that affection. Of course, Freud published his work over a hundred years ago, so it’s not the … Read more
TRIGGER WARNING: This review, of the book Hunger by Roxane Gay contains multiple mentions of rape. The first thing that strikes me about Hunger, is how real and raw it is. There is no dressing up the truth . Gay is morbidly obese. And she was also gang raped at 12 years old. There is … Read more
Forgiveness, we’re told, is a wonderful thing. It sets us free and supports good health. All spiritual texts agree, forgiveness is the way forward. Yet quite frankly, forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible. And the effort expended in attempting to forgive can be mentally exhausting. And often futile. So, what to do when you can’t forgive? … Read more
Hollywood star, Sharon Stone, writes a good biography. Which shouldn’t come as a surprise to me, as I once read that she has an IQ of 150. And yet it does. Within Sharon Stone’s autobiography The Beauty of Living Twice, she writes conversationally, authentically and with surprising sensitivity about sexual abuse, a brutal childhood and … Read more
Yesterday, while browsing Facebook, I happened upon a post which stated that if you’re feeling fear or anxiety, you’ll be attracting more of the same. And it’s the perfect illustration of the danger of toxic positivity. On the surface, the post may seemingly be offering a comforting, reassuring, and practical way to feel better. After … Read more
Counselling can be transformative. I say this not as a counsellor myself, but as a client. It’s my time on the other side of the couch, that’s had the biggest impact on my mental health. Nevertheless, however talented and caring your counsellor is they’re probably only with you for 50 minutes a week. And the … Read more
The downside of the selfie If Rutledge is right then the selfie sounds playful, charming and self exploratory. What harm can there be in adopting poses and attitudes in search of an image that best captures your true self? Well, the danger comes when people post selfies on social media. And then find their mood … Read more
This week it’s the UK’s Mental Health Awareness week, and the theme is nature. Which is never more vibrant than in the blossoming, blooming month of May. Most people are aware of the mental health benefits that nature bestows. Multiple studies have found that spending time outdoors can elevate your mood, ease the symptoms of … Read more
Self compassion can be key to improving your mental health, learning to enjoy life more and forgiving others.
In the Summer of 2017, seemingly before friendship counselling existed, I wrote an article called Forever Friends? Within it I explored ending a friendship, and suggested an attitude of peaceful acceptance. After all, I wrote “Not all friendships are meant to last forever.” Four years on, and now I’m aware that friendship counselling exists, I disagree … Read more
Many people will instantly know when a relationship doesn’t feel healthy. But when does a less-than-perfect relationship turn toxic? The simplest explanation is from Psych Alive, “A toxic relationship is often characterised by repeated, mutually destructive modes of relating between a couple. These patterns can involve jealousy, possessiveness, dominance, manipulation, desperation, selfishness or rejection.” In … Read more
Last month I decided to return to therapy, but this time as a client. I started my search for a new counsellor feeling excited and optimistic. I’m a trained counsellor, so I knew what I wanted and was confident I’d find it within the hour. How wrong I was. Three hours later, annoyed, disappointed and … Read more