Ever gotten something you’ve really wanted? Something you’ve dreamed about, schemed about and worked your socks off for? And then finally when it’s all yours, you feel…nothing. Instead of elation, there’s only numbness, flatness and confusion. That’s post achievement comedown, better known as PAC. And it can be confusing, sad and even scary. If this … Read more
Hear the words, ‘single parent’ and what does it conjure up for you? Struggles with money, a frantic woman failing to cope with feral children, or the loss of a fairy tale future? Such negative views of single motherhood can play their part in keeping us stuck in relationships that aren’t working. The conscious or … Read more
This week, it’s London Fashion week (16th – 21st September). A huge event in the sartorial calendar. And although I’m not a massive follower of fashion myself, I do appreciate it as a form of self expression. Just look at Rhianna’s street style. The bold colours, daring hemline and creative styling all suggesting a woman … Read more
Which celebrity’s got good self esteem, do you think? Could it be Kim Kardashian with her body confidence? Greta Thunberg with her fierce and fearless speeches or Victoria Beckham’s drive and determination? Taking her from Spice Girl to international fashion designer within one lifetime. The answer is: It could be all of them. Or none … Read more
“No man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping.” said philosopher David Hume. And although he was writing about suicide, he could just as easily have been referring to romantic relationships. Home working throughout the pandemic has proven to be a real relationship wrecker. Research from law firm Stewarts, showed a 122% increase … Read more
A friend of mine recently attended her first counselling session, and then returned dismayed, disappointed and down-heartened because her counsellor didn’t give her any advice. She complained, loud and long, that she’d paid upwards of £50 a session, and come away with nothing. Not even a crumpled leaflet. Far from empathising with her plight, I … Read more
Every Tuesday evening I go and see my counsellor. He is a skillful, compassionate and generally excellent therapist. At the end of our sessions together, I feel better. Better for having spoken about my feelings, faced my fears and explored my emotions. But the next day… The next day is often awful. I am weepy, … Read more
Ambition may no longer be a dirty word but as a desirable, female quality it certainly doesn’t feel squeaky clean. I asked my friends what the term ‘ambitious woman’ conjured up for them, and they reported the following: Sigourney Weaver in Working Girl, stiletto heels, Dior Poison perfume and being a bitch to get ahead. … Read more
It’s not easy to write a review of Matt Haig’s The Comfort Book. Not because it’s badly written, or dull or unoriginal. But just because it’s all so pleasant and reassuring, that there’s not a lot to say. The book is ideal for the coffee table, the bedside table, or as a gift for friends. … Read more
It may be good to talk, but for some people it can feel really bad. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve experienced trauma, take a while to trust or just come from a family that don’t ‘do’ feelings. Speaking out loud about your inner world can be frightening. I have to admit that when I first … Read more
As a therapist I believe in the healing power of talking. But for some people, speaking about how they feel is an almost impossible task. They withdraw into a world of their own, and silence becomes their sanctuary. Harriet Shawcross’s book, Unspeakable The Things we Cannot Say, takes a look at the limits of language … Read more
Hopefully you’ve now had time to heal your heartbreak over England not winning the Euros (although, I’d guess you’re probably still devastated about the racism and domestic violence). But whatever your thoughts on football, daring to embrace your dream only to have it snatched away is painful. A proper stomach sinking, tightness in the chest, … Read more