Self Esteem Blog

Woman with long blonde hair, black coat and peach trousers smiling at the camera. In the background is a theme park like Disney Land.

Why your looks don’t matter as much as you think

You’re probably already familiar with pretty privilege. A catchy term that describes the benefits of being considered conventionally attractive. How people will want to get to know you, grant you favours, and even assume you’re a friendly, outgoing and honest person -simply because you’re good looking. After all, who can deny that prettiness has a … Read more

Two woman sit on a bed together in bandeau tops and bikini bottoms. The woman on the left is larger and has black skin and black curly hair. The woman on the right is olive skinned with dark brown hair and strong eyebrows.

Body confidence and self esteem

The weather is warm(ish), my son’s sports day is today, and this morning the birds woke me at 5am. Yes, summer is finally here! And so, unsurprisingly, the conversation turns to body confidence. And there’s such a lot written on the subject of body confidence. How to get it, strengthen it, maintain it. And yet, … Read more

Riley from Inside out 2, now a teenager.

Inside Out 2: Therapy for adults

As a way to pass the hours on a dull day, my son and I have seen many a mediocre children’s film. Ranging from the sweet, Lyle, Lyle Crocodile, to the quite boring, yet chaotic, Mummies. But Inside out 2 is in a different league. It speaks meaningfully to both adults and children. Opening up … Read more

Three women in a group standing up and laughing in a friendly way together.

Meaningful connection and why it matters

Hands up who wants to improve their mental wellbeing? You’re in luck because, there are so many places to start. You could improve your sleep, see a counsellor or overhaul your diet. But there’s one important factor we consistently overlook in the wellness conversation – and that’s meaningful connection. I’m not sure why this one … Read more

Picture of the the colourful front cover of How to Know a Person alongside some white blossom.

Book review: How to Know a Person

There’s a psychological theory, that the quality of our relationships has the biggest single impact on our life satisfaction. Forget money, worldwide recognition or achieving our goals. All these things pale in comparison to the massive impact meaningful connections with friends and family provide. In his book, How to Know a Person: The art of … Read more

Couple in white shirts, sitting on a bench near a port with a ship in the foreground.

Self-esteem and Separation

It’s been half term this week, so I headed off to Sweden for a few days with my family. And while researching royal palaces, child-friendly saunas and the best cinnamon buns, I discovered the Swedes have the highest divorce rate in Europe. And I don’t think it’s because they’re a disagreeable nation. I had a … Read more

I Love mental health, but hate Mental Health Awareness Week

Mental health and I have been happily entwined for most of my adult life. From volunteering at Samaritans aged 21, to becoming a counsellor in my thirties. Because I truly believe having someone to talk to can make a massive, almost immeasurable, difference to mental health. It’s a job I love. But I do not, … Read more

Woman with brown hair in a long bob, wearing a terracotta coloured top, sitting on a sofa reading a book and smiling.

Social media and self-esteem. Why not take a break?

A recent study from York University has found that women who stop using social media, even for just one week, receive a significant self-esteem boost in return. It’s believed the compare and despair cycle, familiar to all who use social media apps, can send even the most robust self-esteem plummeting through the floor. Even if … Read more

Woman with blonde hair in a shoulder length bob, wearing a a dove grey sweater, smiles and playfully cuddles her son with dark brown hair.

Self-esteem and motherhood

Just before I became pregnant with my son, I stumbled upon this sobering study and was gifted a glimpse of the future. According to the University of Tilburg’s decade long research, it takes an average of three years for a women’s self esteem to return to baseline after giving birth. So, months after you’ve sorted … Read more

The sanctimonious therapist and how to avoid her

In a bid to persuade that no counsellor is perfect, I wondered about compiling a long list of all my faults and personal failings. But the truth is, there wouldn’t be enough time or space for it. I have made so many mistakes I could fill a multitude of pages. But this doesn’t mean that I’m not a capable counsellor, or that someone with a blemish free record would automatically be better.

Toxic by Sarah Ditum. A look back at the noughties and how unfairly female celebrities were treated.

Book review: Toxic by Sarah Ditum

Are you feeling brave today? Fearless, even? Sure? Then grab my hand and I’ll take you back to the early noughties. But I hope you don’t scare easy, because the new millennium was a terrifying time for young women. The term abuse of power wasn’t yet in every day parlance. There was scant awareness of … Read more

three of Chanel's designs (one white ball gown, black tuxedo suit and black taffeta strapless gown) photographed at the Chanel: Fashion Manifesto exhibition at the Victoria and Albert Museum, London.

Personal Style and self-esteem

You’d never guess it to look at me, but fashion is a micro-passion of mine. So last week I travelled to the capital to see not one, but two, fashion exhibitions. Gabrielle Chanel: Fashion Manifesto and Fashion City: How Jewish Londoners Shaped Global Style. Despite my passion, I’m aware that not everyone’s a fan of … Read more