You thought so carefully about what you wanted in a therapist. Spent days scrolling through counselling directories, picked the professional you imagined you’d work best with, and then began to slowly reveal your innermost thoughts to them. But despite your best efforts, you’ve realised your therapist is ineffective, a bit irritating or just doesn’t get … Read more
Are you buckling under the pressure to be perfect? If so, you’re not alone. Many good women have fallen under the weight of this unfair expectation. There’s an implicit belief that to be loved, to be worthy of praise and acceptance we must excel in all areas of our life. A flawless appearance, cherubic children … Read more
Self esteem is such a common term, so frequently bandied about. We speak of it as if we’re discussing this season’s hemline – is yours high, low or unravelling and trailing on the floor? But what exactly is self esteem and what does it mean? I’ve specialised in this area for five years now and … Read more
I grew up immersed in the world of magazines. From my first flick through Jackie, aged nine, to my present-day fondness for Psychologies and Grazia. There’s something about the aspirational imagery, the smell of print on high-sheen pages, and the promise they offer, that I find so very soothing. But magazines are much maligned, and … Read more
This week it’s Mental Health Awareness Week 2023, and its theme? Anxiety. We know there are many things which up the ante on our anxiety – driving in rush hour, getting your kids ready in the morning, giving a presentation when you’re not properly prepared. But sometimes there is a double agent. A frenemy, if … Read more
Is becoming a counsellor something you’ve been considering? I know, for me, it swam in the back of my mind for years, before I eventually took the plunge and began training in 2015. And Interestingly, it will occasionally cross the mind of my clients too, as they come towards the completion of their time in … Read more
On a long flight last week, I listened to a great podcast by the therapist, Marisa Peer. She spoke about the stories we tell ourselves. Exploring where we first picked these stories up from, who told them to us and, most importantly, are they even true? As a counsellor it’s my privilege to listen to … Read more
In the interest of full disclosure, I read ‘Feeling Blah’? by Tanith Carey, while on holiday. And with the sun on my body, and barely a thought in my head, I was feeling far from blah. Nevertheless, blah is a feeling that I am somewhat familiar with, through my clients. It’s the feeling of numbness … Read more
I’m unabashedly biased about this -there is nothing quite like counselling. It turned my life around, making me less brittle and more able to tolerate difficult emotions without exploding. And now, as a counsellor myself, I see and hear of similar benefits experienced by my clients all the time. But sometimes, actually getting to counselling … Read more
Any regular visitors to this blog will know two things. One: I am a massive advocate of self-compassion and its many benefits. And two: self-compassion is not as whimsical as it sounds. I’m aware that ‘practising self-compassion’ is the sort of thing we say to ourselves when we lay in bed, flannel on head, nursing … Read more
Toxic relationships – they’re quite a heavy going topic, aren’t they? And never more so than if that traumatic relationship is with your mum. A person who’s meant to protect you, prize you and put you above all others. In fact even when we know our mum has a negative influence on our mental wellbeing, … Read more
Pop superstar, Miley Cyrus has reignited the conversation around self love following the release of her song Flowers. While the tune is as swinging and melodic as you’d expect from Miley, it’s the lyrics which are a masterclass in knowing your worth. In fact Flowers really does contain the secret to self love – which … Read more