A friend of mine recently attended her first counselling session, and then returned dismayed, disappointed and down-heartened because her counsellor didn’t give her any advice. She complained, loud and long, that she’d paid upwards of £50 a session, and come away with nothing. Not even a crumpled leaflet. Far from empathising with her plight, I … Read more
It may be good to talk, but for some people it can feel really bad. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve experienced trauma, take a while to trust or just come from a family that don’t ‘do’ feelings. Speaking out loud about your inner world can be frightening. I have to admit that when I first … Read more
As a therapist I believe in the healing power of talking. But for some people, speaking about how they feel is an almost impossible task. They withdraw into a world of their own, and silence becomes their sanctuary. Harriet Shawcross’s book, Unspeakable The Things we Cannot Say, takes a look at the limits of language … Read more
Yesterday, while browsing Facebook I came across this post. And it’s a perfect illustration of toxic spiritual psychology. On the surface, this post seems fine. It offers a comforting, reassuring, and seemingly practical way to feel better. After all, what’s easier than thinking thoughts of joy and believing the universe will send yet more good … Read more
Counselling can be transformative. I say this not as a counsellor myself, but as a client. It’s my time on the other side of the couch, that’s had the biggest impact on my mental health. Nevertheless, however talented and caring your counsellor is they’re probably only with you for 50 minutes a week. And the … Read more
In the Summer of 2017, seemingly before friendship counselling existed, I wrote an article called Forever Friends? Within it I explored ending a friendship, and suggested an attitude of peaceful acceptance. After all, I wrote “Not all friendships are meant to last forever.” Four years on, and now I’m aware that friendship counselling exists, I disagree … Read more
Last month I decided to return to therapy, but this time as a client. Lockdown has been hard for me, as it has for many. The drudgery of days spent looking at the same four walls has taken its toll on my wellbeing and I was ready for some outside support. I started my search … Read more