I’m unabashedly biased about this -there is nothing quite like counselling. It turned my life around, making me less brittle and more able to tolerate difficult emotions without exploding. And now, as a counsellor myself, I see and hear of similar benefits experienced by my clients all the time. But sometimes, actually getting to counselling … Read more
Choosing a counsellor, can be an overwhelming experience. There are so many therapists out there, that it can feel impossible to pick the right one. Googling can be hit and miss, and counselling directories can send you into an eternal scroll. To help make the process a little easier, I’ve created this vlog on choosing … Read more
When I reflect on my first experience of counselling, it really was a case of gathering up all my courage and hoping for the best. I took a leap of faith and, luckily for me, it turned out beautifully. In fact it’s one of the best things I’ve ever done for my mental health. So, … Read more
A friend of mine recently attended her first counselling session, and then returned dismayed, disappointed and down-heartened because her counsellor didn’t give her any advice. She complained, loud and long, that she’d paid upwards of £50 a session, and come away with nothing. Not even a crumpled leaflet. Far from empathising with her plight, I … Read more
Eugh, the therapy hangover. It is so uncomfortable. Every Tuesday evening I go and see my counsellor. He is a skillful, compassionate and generally excellent therapist. At the end of our sessions together, I feel better. Better for having spoken about my feelings, faced my fears and explored my emotions. But the next day… The … Read more
It may be good to talk, but for some people it can feel really bad. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve experienced trauma, take a while to trust or just come from a family that don’t ‘do’ feelings. Speaking out loud about your inner world can be frightening. I have to admit that when I first … Read more
As a therapist I believe in the healing power of talking. But for some people, speaking about how they feel is an almost impossible task. They withdraw into a world of their own, and silence becomes their sanctuary. Harriet Shawcross’s book, Unspeakable The Things we Cannot Say, takes a look at the limits of language … Read more
Forgiveness, we’re told, is a wonderful thing. It sets us free and supports good health. All spiritual texts agree, forgiveness is the way forward. So what happens when you can’t forgive?Because,quite frankly, forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible. And the effort expended in attempting to forgive can be mentally exhausting. And, whisper it, often futile. A … Read more
Counselling can be transformative. I say this not as a counsellor myself, but as a client. It’s my time on the other side of the couch, that’s had the biggest impact on my mental health. But, however talented and caring your counsellor, they’re only with you for 50 minutes a week. And the rest of … Read more
Before friendship counselling seemingly existed, In the Summer of 2017, I wrote an article called Forever Friends? Within it I explored ending a friendship, and suggested an attitude of peaceful acceptance. After all, I pondered “Not all friendships are meant to last forever.” Four years on, and now I’m aware that friendship counselling exists, I disagree … Read more
Last month I decided to return to therapy, but this time as a client. I started my search feeling optimistic and excited for finding a great counsellor. After all, I’m a trained therapist myself so I knew what I wanted and felt confident I’d find it within the hour. How wrong I was. Three hours … Read more