Every Tuesday evening I go and see my counsellor. He is a skillful, compassionate and generally excellent therapist. At the end of our sessions together, I feel better. Better for having spoken about my feelings, faced my fears and explored my emotions. But the next day… The next day is often awful. I am weepy, … Read more
It may be good to talk, but for some people it can feel really bad. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve experienced trauma, take a while to trust or just come from a family that don’t ‘do’ feelings. Speaking out loud about your inner world can be frightening. I have to admit that when I first … Read more
As a therapist I believe in the healing power of talking. But for some people, speaking about how they feel is an almost impossible task. They withdraw into a world of their own, and silence becomes their sanctuary. Harriet Shawcross’s book, Unspeakable The Things we Cannot Say, takes a look at the limits of language … Read more
Forgiveness, we’re told, is a wonderful thing. It sets us free and supports good health. All spiritual texts agree, forgiveness is the way forward. Yet quite frankly, forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible. And the effort expended in attempting to forgive can be mentally exhausting. And often futile. So, what to do when you can’t forgive? … Read more
Counselling can be transformative. I say this not as a counsellor myself, but as a client. It’s my time on the other side of the couch, that’s had the biggest impact on my mental health. Nevertheless, however talented and caring your counsellor is they’re probably only with you for 50 minutes a week. And the … Read more
In the Summer of 2017, seemingly before friendship counselling existed, I wrote an article called Forever Friends? Within it I explored ending a friendship, and suggested an attitude of peaceful acceptance. After all, I wrote “Not all friendships are meant to last forever.” Four years on, and now I’m aware that friendship counselling exists, I disagree … Read more
Last month I decided to return to therapy, but this time as a client. I started my search for a new counsellor feeling excited and optimistic. I’m a trained counsellor, so I knew what I wanted and was confident I’d find it within the hour. How wrong I was. Three hours later, annoyed, disappointed and … Read more