Cuffing Season and your self-esteem

I bought a copy of Red magazine yesterday, to read in the bath. It’s a small treat, after a bad week beset with IT issues, migraines and arguments. And as I looked at the front cover, I thought, ‘That’s odd.’ Because instead of the usual fashionably dressed, slim hipped model adorning the cover, there’s a … Read more

Blonde woman by the sea, with her eyes closed and her hand on her heart.

Heartbreak and your sense of self

There’s not much in life that’s harder than heartbreak. Specifically, the heartbreak that happens when a romantic relationship ends. It may explode in an instant, like a gunshot. Or run its course – failing to be revived over many years. Both ways can be painful, and have a massive impact on your sense of self. … Read more

Book review: Get Divorced Be Happy

Hear the words, ‘single parent’ and what does it conjure up for you? Struggles with money, a frantic woman failing to cope with feral children, or the loss of a fairy tale future? Such negative views of single motherhood can play their part in keeping us stuck in relationships that aren’t working. The conscious or … Read more

4 Surprising reasons we stay in unhappy relationships

“No man ever threw away life while it was worth keeping.” said philosopher David Hume. Although he was talking about suicide, he could just as easily have been referring to staying in an unhappy relationship. Home working throughout the pandemic has proven to be a real relationship wrecker. Research from law firm Stewarts, showed a … Read more

Book review: Notes on Grief

My very first counselling placement was within bereavement. Where I listened as clients explored their grief. Often they spoke of shock, sometimes abandonment and occasionally a sense of overwhelm. Reflecting on this work, I’m struck by how inept words are to express the raw, desperate, profound feelings that death can deliver to those left behind. … Read more

Is your father influencing your love life?

It was Freud who first suggested that dad’s can have a big influence on their daughter’s romantic relationships. His Oedipus complex theory stated that girls are attracted to their father, and view their mother as a rival for that affection. Of course, Freud published his work over a hundred years ago, so it’s not the … Read more

What to do when you can’t forgive

Forgiveness, we’re told, is a wonderful thing. It sets us free and supports good health. All spiritual texts agree, forgiveness is the way forward. Yet quite frankly, forgiveness can sometimes feel impossible. And the effort expended in attempting to forgive can be mentally exhausting. And often futile. So, what to do when you can’t forgive? … Read more

Book review: Sharon Stone’s autobiogrpahy

Hollywood star, Sharon Stone, writes a good biography. Which shouldn’t come as a surprise to me, as I once read that she has an IQ of 150. And yet it does. Within Sharon Stone’s autobiography The Beauty of Living Twice, she writes conversationally, authentically and with surprising sensitivity about sexual abuse, a brutal childhood and … Read more

friends, friendship, women, mental health, counselling

Friendship Counselling – all you need to know

In the Summer of 2017, seemingly before friendship counselling existed, I wrote an article called Forever Friends?  Within it I explored ending a friendship, and suggested an attitude of peaceful acceptance.  After all, I wrote “Not all friendships are meant to last forever.” Four years on, and now I’m aware that friendship counselling exists, I disagree … Read more

toxic relationship, couple, mental health

Toxic Relationships and how to handle them

Many people will instantly know when a relationship doesn’t feel healthy. But when does a less-than-perfect relationship turn toxic? The simplest explanation is from Psych Alive, “A toxic relationship is often characterised by repeated, mutually destructive modes of relating between a couple. These patterns can involve jealousy, possessiveness, dominance, manipulation, desperation, selfishness or rejection.” In … Read more