Vlog: How to break up with your counsellor

You thought so carefully about what you wanted in a therapist. Spent days scrolling through counselling directories, picked the professional you imagined you’d work best with, and then began to slowly reveal your innermost thoughts to them. But despite your best efforts, you’ve realised your therapist is ineffective, a bit irritating or just doesn’t get you. Perhaps all three. And now your anxiety has ramped up to 100, and you’re aware that counselling is contributing to your stress. What you’re really wondering about is how to break up with your counsellor.

I can help with this, and I’m always happy to share. But first – please don’t panic. Although it may be dispiriting to realise your counsellor isn’t ‘the one’, it’s also not an uncommon occurrence. Counsellors are trained to deal with incompatibility, rejection and even, unfortunately, ghosting. So it’s not as upsetting for them as you imagine it might be. I’ve put together this vlog on how to break up with your counsellor, which will take you by the hand and tell you everything you need to know.

I mention this at the end of the vlog, but it is worth repeating here. If you feel unsafe around your counsellor, if they seem unprofessional or you think they’re breaching ethical boundaries – then please just leave. Your only priority is to part with them as quickly as possible. You don’t need to bear their feelings in mind. You only need to consider your safety and mental wellbeing. If your counsellor is registered with either the UKCP or the BACP then I’ve linked above to the complaints process. And Erin Stevens @Clientfirst is the therapist I mention at the end of the vlog, who specialises on the topic of harm done in counselling.

And lastly, when you’re ready for counselling again and looking for a therapist who’s a better fit for you, check out my Counselling FAQs and picking a counsellor in 3 easy steps.

As ever, if you find this vlog useful please share or comment. Next week I’ll be reviewing Flourish, the extraordinary journey into finding your best self, by Antonia Case.

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